Chapter comments on the chapter A New Beginning of the book The Great Demon System

I thought the story was similar to “My Vampire System” but uts a conplete replica which is kinda annoying i wouldn’t mind much if it was similar but had a different take but the war, the item received from his Parents, the bullying, and the military school:( its a copy paste i am a little dissatisfied.

I feel like im having the story shoved down my throat instead of it actually being shown, like its just explaining EVERYTHING, instead of actually having the mc go through a situation where the reader can infer into his living conditions.

This is getting annoying and the plot saw too forcibly... I'm pretty sure in the world, other students will not even bother to care about MC. They would just ignore him. But now this plot is seen as Forcing MC to suffer to just get a reason to become evil or whatever power-up. I mean why not find a proper plot to do that. This plot is just stupid without following Real-life thinking.

Shouldn’t Moby be 10 years old when he received the news of his death? It said that the war started 9 years ago and his parents were conscripted, three years into the war, Moby was told that they died. Then it was said that it was difficult news for a 7 year old to take. 16 minus 9 is 7, so 7 years old is how old MCwas when they were conscripted, and 7 plus 3 is 10, so 10 years old is when he actually received the news. Or am I missing something here? 🤔

only complaint I have is that I doubt the validity that in 5 years society took such a drastic 180. you're telling me in 5 years,in a culture like the west is especially,every previous Democratic person and country commonly known for contributing the most globally in the advancement of human rights and individualism turned into such a discriminating militaristic society? Canada,United states,United Kingdom,Germany,France,Spain,Poland,etc all these countries and their populations almost unanimously turned into discriminating militaristic minded people? even with all adults having been turned into PTSD ridden veterans of a war of survival I just can't see them all becoming that way

I hate how I'm being spoon fed the world instead of learning it as the story progresses. Show me him being bullied and the life of the non-ability users. Instead of just telling me they are. Have a teacher in class explain about the giant war. Yea it's telling but that's a classroom. You can imagine a classroom. Lots of great ways to explain and share the world and this wasn't the best way. All tell no show.

You keep switching tenses and it makes the story telling feel awkward. Be careful on which tense you use.

I thought that i wrote a double comments, i deleted one but it deleted both of them lol. And thank you for the reply author hehe ;)

interesting

thanks for the chapter exp sect

I swear this man is gonna be a Psychopath in battle

Complete garbage. I don't know a single seven or 10 year old kid who contemplates suicide at that age you shouldn't even know what that is. Then there's how drastically brutal all of the above is it's not realistic.and he just mindlessly believes everything that he's told and gets s*** on my every single person without a single person coming to help him. It's not realistic. No person gets deceived that often and doesn't learn from it. No person doesn't realize these people are probably bad news and not try to stay away from them. And no school even one in a world where might makes right would allow possible strong soldiers to just get bullied to death basically. It's unrealistic and I'm dropping it immediately.

already frustrated since it is similar to vampire system

one grammar thing is to try and keep the same tense throughout the paragraph, because switching back and forth is confusing.

world population today is 7+ billion.+increase in 100 years - 10% , the population should be atleast 7billion. divide that by 26, each country should have 300 million residents. then population under 20 would be around 60million (if average lifespan is 100years). of that, lets say, 3million are at the age of 16. that's an entire city and the author put ALL of them in 1 school. maybe I misread and it's only 2nd chapter so will read more before I decide to commit.

This story is just like “MY VAMPIRE SYSTEM”

nice chapter

My mind just did an time travel and learned the advanced plot of. Story that Alexander will be the grand grand father of mc and that necklace will be that green jade🧐

The problem is the fact that if the world is at such a state where literally every body counts, then quite literally they would not have first allowed him to be sitting there all depressed like that for so long. They would have gone to assess where all of the next generation of soldiers are coming from as quickly as possible. Then there's the fact that it literally if we allow these people to be driven through the muck become depressed kill themselves what have you, then we're losing hundreds of thousands of necessary bodies. They don't have the people to allow something like that to happen. Then there's the rather brutal and unnecessarily graphic bullying. I mean they're not just trying to bully him they're trying to break him. Which is already a horribly and ridiculously unhealthy mentality that no society, even one that has changed would ever allow. If Hannibal lecter is killing small children, small animals etc in the corner they're going to get rid of that s*** real quick. Self preservation, logic, and fear are things that will be universal regardless of what society has become. Just way too many problems with this s***.

I dropped this shit the moment I saw the martial arts name is called "way of the blissful demon" lol wtf