Lucifer Chose Me Love, hate, war

Honestly I hate Mondays. I prayed to god that I'd have one Monday that isn't full of presentations for my sexist boss that will probably make me redo it in under a day anyway.

I guess I prayed wrong though? Because now I'm pregnant with the anti christ, or something like it.
It wants to eat all day, continuously kicks me (and not in a cute way, I've coughed up blood). This is definitely going into my top ten reasons to hate kids.

On the bright side, Satan now does my grocery shopping since we're living together.

But of course he doesn't pay rent. Why would he? He's just some paranormal demon that impregnated me in my sleep and now wants me to raise his literal demon child!


Now. I've got a presentation to make. Four times.