The Struggle to Survive (Daily Updates)

46, XX.

A “shameful” disorder which was kept from Eli in order to make him fit in with society.

If he has XX, wouldn’t it be easier for him to undergo multiple surgeries and live as a girl than be accepted as who he is? Wouldn’t it be less shameful? Less embarrassing?

Yes … right?

Eli’s entire existence was treated with shame. Forced to conform and hide at every opportunity, he had no one he could open up to.

From the moment he was born, he was expected to be his mother’s little Angel. Anytime he was less than perfect or didn’t follow his mother’s instructions, he was met with disapproval. With his father’s sudden leave, his mother’s high expectations, and his unpopularity when it came to friends, he had no one to turn to.

Poor Eli, a little boy who suffered all alone. It was only natural that he wouldn’t be as happy as everyone else.

At first, he didn’t notice them. They were in the distance, affecting him only a bit. Yet as he aged, dealing with them only became all the more difficult.

Depression. Anxiety. Dysphoria. A deadly trio that destroyed him.

He was once brimming with life, so happy and carefree. Praised and loved relentlessly, he lived in a lonely dream. He was cute, smart, sweet, productive, kind, hopeful, happy … he was perfect.

If only those golden years would’ve lasted. Cast aside and rotten away, he was at what seemed like the worst point in his life. He wondered where it all went wrong. Where his happy, perfect life crashed down.

Eli hoped for one last time. If he could get through this all, he would be renewed. He would gain appreciation and respect. He would be able to experience the golden years once again. He would have the will to live again.

If only it was that easy.