I'm about to do what's called a pro gamer move *laughs evilly*
Okay but seriously, this is my first novel and I'm still inexperienced if you have any advice or critics(good or bad) feel free to tell. Thanks in advance
I've read through this twice the early chaps have some small mistakes however it gets better as you go the fact this is the authors first story is understandable nothing is perfect Jason is a good guy and tries his best if or when the author continues this is the day I continue to read.
This book is amazing, keep going!Β Β Can't stop reading. Can't wait to see more. Do you have any social media that I can follow so I can know when you gonna update?
Many mistakes in the statuses of characters, inconsistencies regarding even their names, but....I like the story . Wish though there was an ending to it...but seems it's an abandoned work! Too bad....π
As someone who reads quite a lot, I just wanted to let you know how much Iβve enjoyed the story. This is the first story Iβve read in a while the has really drawn me in and made me want to keep reading.
Itβs not perfect, by any means, but itβs nailed what I consider to be the most important part of any story, which is successfully drawing me in and making them want more. And more than that, I really like 3 main characters.
If I had to point out anything though, I would question as to why the swear words are all censored? It hasnβt affected my enjoyment, but does seem odd to me.
I am giving this an overall 2.6 because your quality of writing needs work, you have so many mistakes in every chapter. Your story development is a 3 out of 5 because the story is decent. The characters are great but still 4 out of 5. and the other 2 i rated 2 out of 5. You might not like hearing this but to make this novel better you need to go back to the beginning and fix all your mistakes. The character level keeps jumping around. He gains levels, but then he somehow loses levels. You are the second most inconsistent author i met. I do like your story though so even with all your faults i am continuing on.
reason is this novel story way so slow so slow that it will make you fell like you are a turtle ....
way so slow
if you don't like slow very slow type novel then its not for you ...
don't think about it because it has 300 chapter means it has a lot plot...
the truth is it 10 day story takes 160 chapter that will make you crazy....π
Like the storyβs main plot so far but have a lot of character holes that need to be ironed out. There are grammatical errors that need to be corrected so worse than others. Punctuations arent used properly at times either. MC does some contradicting things at times but that is ok as people do that in real life. Hope it gets edited before you charge people but good luck.
Great novel with great potential but I have a few concerns with it the character development is good but only for the MC but side characters are not given enough light the world development is very awful and I really don't know what is going on especially with the game world since we have nothing to go on except the MC view the author has Great potential but is limited by some of these factors but he also has some strong points like his hilarious language
Note to chap 103
I see people giving it a bad rating and I feel bad because I love this story there is amazing character development the authors wrighting improves although the beginning is a little meh it gets a whole lot better and that whole meh part just becomes character development although I was look for a different type of story this completely surprised me and I love it during the beginning it might seem like the mc was wasting his time later in the story the skill that he got during that time are not very visible but important to the story and the character it's slow pasted but every chapter and event bring more understanding to the world around and the characters the mc does start with only 2 people on his side that slowly changes it's part of the slow pasted and it not like he magically get more people on his side he has to talk and create friendship or his original 2 I do think the title fits as not only do I think that we are only seeing the beginning of what the system can do I also think that there is no other title that fits this story I hope people see this review and don't worry about the bad reviews and get at least 100 in that is definitely when you have seen its charm the bad reviews are probably people from the beginning chapters and didn't really get into the real story
The narration of this story is so annoying.
It feels like when people read books without voice modulation fitting the content. MC makes friends by asking "do you won't to be my friend". There is more but I just don't feel like reading and commenting since im dropping it.
I would give this story 1* but author is hard working with chapters and is making this novel free so im giving it 3.8*.
Mc is all over the place.
World background is ok but the backstory could be left out and it would still be the same.
Mc was given a subordinate system and then spent 4 months doing nothing while his competitors where training their assβs off and yet he seems to come out on top.
Just not my cup of tea when it comes to novels i would prefer a bit more logic.
the whole premise is quite original but it's sad that main character isn't actively doing things to streghten himself like getting knowledge how to build a gun then ordering things and parts for it going into the game
to simply assemble it also since magic exist wouldn't be possible to create magic tool that works just like a gun?
honestly love this story and the characters. the only criticism I have for this story is the author needs to re-read or get an editor. they regularly make simple typos or have levels show after level ups that already happened. keep up the good work author.
i feel like the name of this stroy does not match perfectly with the actual story. it's really slow paced (no problems there). But I walked in on this story hoping for a more "Ruler"/Guild master setting. a good story all in all but I'm missing the "subordination" part of this, he only controls two people really and some NPC's. **: MC is a absolute idiot.
Honestly one of the best things that i have read in a while. The pacing it slow but it all makes sense. The characters are likeable for the most part. Some answers are missing but I think that is on purpose. Keep up the good work I am looking forward to reading more ^_^
The story development is too random and vrmmo game structure is giant a*s plothole. No character development what so ever. πππππππππ
This storys premise is delightful except for the fact that i have no idea what is going on or what anyone saying or what theyre doing. Kid gets abducted because some people said theyd guve his parents money and hes like βsureβ doesnt question anything. Then when theyre explaining there objectives within the worlds the dont feel coherent. This feels like it might continue to be a prevalent issue and while I understand that english might not be your first language I cannot reccomend this in good conscience.
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact
rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.
Itβs amazing!! The character development and the pace of the story are very good. The story in itself is incredible. A few grammar errors here and there but otherwise itβs one of my favorite stories rn. Keep it up Author-san!!
Loved the story just read it all in one go love the work. We need more chapters and world background needs to be developed and needs some work otherwise it's a good read
Really interesting novel that takes a bit of a different approach to the story line. MC does not start out as an all powerful character and instead develops along with with a cast of several. 50+ chapters in and the MC is still barely out of the noob village. The story is good and catches and keeps your attention.
My only complaint is some of the spelling errors that can throw the reader out of the story. With a good editor this novel could easily be a good seller on Amazon.
can't say anything. im stunned:) too stunned and also jelous"( hehe, good work author! U hve great potential for this~β’^β’ start becoming ur book fan heheππ€
I really like this novel but the chapters are a bit short but I think itβs great π *_*. O_0. ^_^ #_# π₯ποΈββοΈποΈποΈββοΈποΈββοΈποΈββοΈποΈββοΈποΈπ€Έπ½ποΈπ€Έπ½ποΈββοΈποΈββοΈπ€Έπ½π€Έπ½ποΈββοΈπ€Έπ½ποΈββοΈπ₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π»π»π»π·πΌπΌπΌπΌπΌπ·πΌπΌπΌππππππΎπ»ππΏπ₯ππΎπ²π·πππΌππππβοΈπ·ππππ»ππΌ
Very good, but I think the author must issue a longer or more chapter because the story is slow developing and this is somewhat good and be if we continue like this it will take a long time for God and we are waiting for the game of the least issued more chapters until you reach a good development so that we can wait for the chapters longer please please (apologize to the rules The bad I use is a paid translation program, please ignore it) Thank you
a_regular_student